In Memoriam Ishmel Alexander

Don't write me a love song today or tomorrow.
I need you here with me during my sorrow.
I don't need to be told how unfortunate this is
Just listen as my tears fall,
And watch as my smile leaves me hollow.
Don't call and expect me to laugh and lie when
I feel like I'm dying inside.
All you need to do is call and be kind...

I don't know how this is going to go
I don't know how I'm coping but I'm here
So let's start from there

Sadness reduces my smile
to an indent of sniffing
Disbelief induces a look of
being elsewhere
And being here helps to
hold me together
So just stay, just stay by my side
So...just stay,
by...my...side...

I miss my Daddy more than you know. His beliefs were the ones I stood on each day as I attacked the lies of this world. His wishes inspired me to soar higher. His voice propelled me to a place where only dreams exist and I've been living there for so long and now I'm falling back to reality while trying to keep him alive and I only need your prayers to help me.

(c) Shaziane

Who We Used To Be

I miss who we used to be
Lovers
In everything we did
When we fought I always saw your smiles
When we cried I could always feel the high
And I'd know that tomorrow would bring
Happiness
That true lovers know so well
I miss being in love with your every move
I miss loving your every curve as you do
I miss thoroughly enjoying your insecurities
I miss
I miss
Who we used to be

I miss telling you all my secrets
I miss hearing all of yours
I miss believing every word you said
And I miss being your best friend
I miss
I miss
Who we used to be

You don't understand
Being alone
When it's gotten too cold
You don't know the pain
When betrayal is the only thing you know
You don't understand
How It hurts
When trust only means
You've been crushed

I miss
I miss
Who we used to be
Honestly

I miss...
I missed
Who we'll never be

(C) Shaziane

Yesternight and Today

On days like today

I want to make love to your body with my words

On nights like yesternight

I want to listen to your breath crescendo in the distance

with walls, space, tension between us

On days like today

I want to watch you love yourself entirely

without care that eyes passion and unconditionality watch

without thought that discrimination, and disgust [exist

...that they] cannot understand the beauty of you

On night like yesternight

I want to love you so well that you forget my presence

love you so thoroughly that happiness wells, bubbles, 

bursts within the walls of your chest

burns in your veins, and as you fight to control it, 

flows from your lids swiftly in a smooth caress 

over your raised, weary, smiling cheeks

(C) Shaziane