Cry Me

Cry me a shoulder
Paint me a tear
Show me the sorrow that I can hold dear

Love me to ashes
Hug me to death
Give me the pieces I will never forget

Lend me your sadness
Allow me your hurt
Let every burden lay on my heart

Bless me with your curse
Tell the tragedy
Share the experience of love lost

(C) Shaziane

It's A Good Day To Walk Away

Just pick me...
Just pick me.

I'm shouting from the top of my lung,
This voice becomes like prongs
Climbing me from feet to head and no more.
They've become like nails
Turned outwards pushing everyone away.
They can't touch me and neither can you.
It's my security,
It's an absurdity
But seriously

Just pick me...
Just pick me.

I've been standing in your rain
Begging for the shade.
You feel my eyes
Wrapped around your body every time you're nearby.
I know you see the longing,
The yearning in these eyes.
So pick me,
Do away with all the misery and pick me.

There's not a day that goes by
That I don't let you know I'm here
Standing, waiting for your go ahead,
Take my hand lead me away
I'm begging please
Because this is the last day
That I'm standing in the rain
Taking all of this pain without gain...

Baby please, you could pick me.
But you've got me by the hand just the same as her.

Good bye
This will not continue any further than here,
It's where your nonsense comes to end.
It's where I rise from the bottom
To embrace my gift, my destiny,
Too long I've focused on getting you,
Stifling my gift to remain your subordinate,
I was made to be inordinate. 

I've felt a burning in my soul
Now it's growing cold so I have to break away
From your poison,
Get away from your dark cloud.
Take your hands off 
I don't need to be lead like a child.
I am my own gifted and empowered.

For too long I have bowed
Feeling less endowed

I feel the love, it grounds me.
The sun shining on me.

(C) Shaziane

Just Go...

This not the place I'm accustomed to be in
This not the pace I'm usually taking
But today
Today
I am living Life
Living like it's a new day
Taking strides in a new way

And I don't know what to say
But I'm loving this new play
And as I Go
I flow
Taking all the steps in glides
Doing all the moves with pride

Making a name without a thought
Changing plans
And stretching out
Removing myself from everything
That once held me...to the ground

And now I'm free
And now I see
That Life never held me back
Because I did all, the holding
I did all, the closing
Bolting windows , doors and more

But now I'm free
But now I am free
But now I. Am. FREE!
Completely loving me
And who I be

I have learned to Go
Go, Go, Go!

Not "with"
Anybody
Or "with"
Anything

But just Go
In
Myself
And
Through
Myself

I have learned to use trinkets
Of a/this broken treasure
To undo
The latches,
Bolts,
More
So that I can just...go

(c) Shaziane

Depression

Horrors of dark
Depression rising to the surface
Engulfing the warmth of comfort
In its chilly, coarse, subtle yet vivid grasp

Lonely and cold
Blunt and bold
Unfeeling and thoroughly hurt
Within and without
Not present and completely here

Calm and at peace
While being pained and anxious
In equal parts
Fighting to remain
Combating the other

I want to be alone
And I want to be with you
I want to hear your voice
And I need the silence
In the dark of this light

Understand the pain I refuse to speak
See the strain I cannot show
Light the candle in your corner
Tempt me with your soothing warmth
Remove me, draw me out of this dark of horror

(c) Shaziane

Here

I've been here for so long
Wondering where I belong
Trying to get around
Wanting to be found

But never can I seem to find.      
To where I ought to bind
Myself
My belongings

There never seems to be
Any
Ground upon which
I can plant my feet

Every corner is filled
With another man
And his possessions

Every nook filled
With something strange
Every cranny occupied
By some alien

Where is my place
Among all of this
Where are the markers
Left for situations like this

If I cannot rest my head
How do I rise?
If my dignity lays beneath this rubble
How do I find it?

(c) Shaziane

Pregnancy

Thick, round, ready
Hips, thighs, ankles
And a perfectly centred oval
Propped in the middle of perfection
My wife.

The cushioning of her already cushioned ass
 The widening of her amazingly wide hips
The extra heaviness to her firm breasts
Speak of
My child

The intensified intensity of her orgasms
The heightening of her pleasant yet unearthly desires
The increased sensitivity to touch, taste, and smell
Teases, taunts
Me

Pregnancy
Has wrought such blessing
How can I despair?

Emotionally unable
Physically incapable
Of stabalizing herself
As mood swings and morning sickness rule
With iron fists of miscommunication

Yearnings for gut-churning food combinations
Hankerings for her constant supply
Bouts of noisome stench release
Invade our home, our lives
Testing my resolve

Loving little
Sleeping less
When will I get my blessed rest
When will this torture end
When will beauty descend

Pregnancy
Has wrought such blessing...
How can I...despair

My wife
My child
Me
How can I despair?
With iron fists of miscommunication
Testing my resolve
When will beauty descend?
How can I...despair

(c) Shaziane

Love Me Well

Love me like you mean it
Love me like I'm worth it
Love me like everything on earth depends on you and me being happily together
Love me like the world would stop if you don't
Love me like the earth spins with your touch
Love me well enough to break the chains of hurt

Love me more than the world believes is possible

Love me well

Love me good and do it like you know you should
Love me clearly in the dark
Love me dearly at the break of light
Love me one more time for one day under eternity

Love me well

(c) Shaziane