Every Time

Every time I see him, I want to sing
But,
I squeeze it in
Hold my breath,
Close my eyes
Press my face,
Nose and mouth in my hand
Stifling the only sounds
That my mind can form
Sit
Hold a chair
Turn from side to side
Refuse to stand
Refuse to walk
Clench my fist
Grab my skirt
Grab the chair
Walk about
Sit again
Breath
Breath
Breath
Breath ease
I try
And as I’m doing these things
I trying not to think
And at last the thoughts come
And tears flow
And I feel
I feel
Feel
I can’t say
“Like”
Because nothing compares
I feel
Eyes burning
Tears flowing
Skin tingling
Heart pounding
Veins
Doing this weird thing
The one they do only when he touches me
But,
He didn’t

(c) Shaziane