Thankfully

Burdened with unyielding cares
Depressed and trodden by uneasy fears
My walk grows longer everyday
And daily though I raise my head
It never seems high enough to call

Deeper and deeper my fall becomes
As minutes float by in my worsening situation
But thankfully
Father knows the very best
And thankfully
He cares for my unlikely woes

Thankfully
At the slightest call He's here

Day by day I go on
Without answering His call
But when I'm in danger
He's there
Thankfully
He loves me

Thankfully
He understands where I am
He understands who I am
And at the slightest opening of my heart
His voice enters with encouragement
None other can impart

Thankfully
He is the One and Only

Thankfully
He sacrificed Himself for me

Without that hope I know not
Where, Who, or What I would be
But thankfully
The Creator of the Universe
Thought my addition, good

So thankfully
I'm here with cause and purpose
With an attitude of
Thanks, faith, and grace
To the Holy Father, and my fellow man
I must continue onwards
In the words God has laid on me
With my mind on Him only
Thankfully

The chances I've received
Have brought me more understanding of His love
And thankfully
It is an everlasting love

Prayerfully, Father
I thank you
For loving me

(C) Shaziane

In Memoriam Ishmel Alexander

Don't write me a love song today or tomorrow.
I need you here with me during my sorrow.
I don't need to be told how unfortunate this is
Just listen as my tears fall,
And watch as my smile leaves me hollow.
Don't call and expect me to laugh and lie when
I feel like I'm dying inside.
All you need to do is call and be kind...

I don't know how this is going to go
I don't know how I'm coping but I'm here
So let's start from there

Sadness reduces my smile
to an indent of sniffing
Disbelief induces a look of
being elsewhere
And being here helps to
hold me together
So just stay, just stay by my side
So...just stay,
by...my...side...

I miss my Daddy more than you know. His beliefs were the ones I stood on each day as I attacked the lies of this world. His wishes inspired me to soar higher. His voice propelled me to a place where only dreams exist and I've been living there for so long and now I'm falling back to reality while trying to keep him alive and I only need your prayers to help me.

(c) Shaziane

Who We Used To Be

I miss who we used to be
Lovers
In everything we did
When we fought I always saw your smiles
When we cried I could always feel the high
And I'd know that tomorrow would bring
Happiness
That true lovers know so well
I miss being in love with your every move
I miss loving your every curve as you do
I miss thoroughly enjoying your insecurities
I miss
I miss
Who we used to be

I miss telling you all my secrets
I miss hearing all of yours
I miss believing every word you said
And I miss being your best friend
I miss
I miss
Who we used to be

You don't understand
Being alone
When it's gotten too cold
You don't know the pain
When betrayal is the only thing you know
You don't understand
How It hurts
When trust only means
You've been crushed

I miss
I miss
Who we used to be
Honestly

I miss...
I missed
Who we'll never be

(C) Shaziane

Yesternight and Today

On days like today

I want to make love to your body with my words

On nights like yesternight

I want to listen to your breath crescendo in the distance

with walls, space, tension between us

On days like today

I want to watch you love yourself entirely

without care that eyes passion and unconditionality watch

without thought that discrimination, and disgust [exist

...that they] cannot understand the beauty of you

On night like yesternight

I want to love you so well that you forget my presence

love you so thoroughly that happiness wells, bubbles, 

bursts within the walls of your chest

burns in your veins, and as you fight to control it, 

flows from your lids swiftly in a smooth caress 

over your raised, weary, smiling cheeks

(C) Shaziane

Cry Me

Cry me a shoulder
Paint me a tear
Show me the sorrow that I can hold dear

Love me to ashes
Hug me to death
Give me the pieces I will never forget

Lend me your sadness
Allow me your hurt
Let every burden lay on my heart

Bless me with your curse
Tell the tragedy
Share the experience of love lost

(C) Shaziane

It's A Good Day To Walk Away

Just pick me...
Just pick me.

I'm shouting from the top of my lung,
This voice becomes like prongs
Climbing me from feet to head and no more.
They've become like nails
Turned outwards pushing everyone away.
They can't touch me and neither can you.
It's my security,
It's an absurdity
But seriously

Just pick me...
Just pick me.

I've been standing in your rain
Begging for the shade.
You feel my eyes
Wrapped around your body every time you're nearby.
I know you see the longing,
The yearning in these eyes.
So pick me,
Do away with all the misery and pick me.

There's not a day that goes by
That I don't let you know I'm here
Standing, waiting for your go ahead,
Take my hand lead me away
I'm begging please
Because this is the last day
That I'm standing in the rain
Taking all of this pain without gain...

Baby please, you could pick me.
But you've got me by the hand just the same as her.

Good bye
This will not continue any further than here,
It's where your nonsense comes to end.
It's where I rise from the bottom
To embrace my gift, my destiny,
Too long I've focused on getting you,
Stifling my gift to remain your subordinate,
I was made to be inordinate. 

I've felt a burning in my soul
Now it's growing cold so I have to break away
From your poison,
Get away from your dark cloud.
Take your hands off 
I don't need to be lead like a child.
I am my own gifted and empowered.

For too long I have bowed
Feeling less endowed

I feel the love, it grounds me.
The sun shining on me.

(C) Shaziane

Just Go...

This not the place I'm accustomed to be in
This not the pace I'm usually taking
But today
Today
I am living Life
Living like it's a new day
Taking strides in a new way

And I don't know what to say
But I'm loving this new play
And as I Go
I flow
Taking all the steps in glides
Doing all the moves with pride

Making a name without a thought
Changing plans
And stretching out
Removing myself from everything
That once held me...to the ground

And now I'm free
And now I see
That Life never held me back
Because I did all, the holding
I did all, the closing
Bolting windows , doors and more

But now I'm free
But now I am free
But now I. Am. FREE!
Completely loving me
And who I be

I have learned to Go
Go, Go, Go!

Not "with"
Anybody
Or "with"
Anything

But just Go
In
Myself
And
Through
Myself

I have learned to use trinkets
Of a/this broken treasure
To undo
The latches,
Bolts,
More
So that I can just...go

(c) Shaziane